Setting Boundaries for the Holidays

As the holiday season comes around it can be overwhelming with family expectations and traditions. It is easy to be swept away and stretch yourself too thin. There is pressure to spend more money than you have or time with people that may bring you down. It is important to set boundaries around your time and money to allow you to have a healthy mental status and a joyous holiday season.

The first step is identifying what you are comfortable with.

Set a limit on spending for gifts. Putting yourself in debt to buy presents adds more stress and makes the season less enjoyable for the family. Decide what you feel comfortable with regarding your time. If you feel you can only give one day, then spend one day participating in holiday activities. Family time can bring up various discord within relationships. Set boundaries about what you feel to be appropriate during the holiday times. We may not always see eye to eye with our family on various topics and they can be triggering. It is perfectly acceptable to remove yourself from triggering conversations.

Once you have identified your limits follow through.

Stick with what you have determined to be the proper amount for your spending or time. Boundaries don’t work if you don’t follow them. Be firm in telling others your boundaries and remember they are for you to have a positive holiday season. It is okay to put your needs first. Others may be bothered by the boundaries you set, but that is theirs to work through.

Find an assertive way to share your boundaries with others.

Inform them of your boundaries and if they push back, repeat your boundary or adjust to another assertive statement. This could look like “Thank you for the invite, but I am unable to attend” or “I will not be discussing that topic, can we change the subject”. Repeat statements as often as needed to allow you to feel confident with your boundaries.

Sources: 

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/set-boundaries-others-holiday_l_61ae7bdde4b0eb351707a386

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/presence-mind/201611/holiday-boundaries